Insomnia

Uni = loads of free time.
Loads of free time = too much sleep.
Too much sleep = being nocturnal.
I can't sleep at all, I think I may just blog every night instead. Been thinking alot recently about home and adapting to life in Sheffield. It's less of a scary thought and it's taken me this long to be mature about it, knowing when I can go home, and knowing what I have to do whilst I'm here. I know for a fact that having someone from home in Sheffield, Lew, has been the best thing really, so good to have someone that you don't need to make proper conversation about peoples past and stuff, good to have someone on the same wavelength. Best guy!

I definately live and breathe Teesside. You look back on things and realise throughout growing up that you fight with yourself and the fact you aren't independent. I've had such a good three months, because the whole process has changed me into a person; it's taken so many ups and downs to get here, but I think I can say that I accept how things are, how they will be, and how much I need my family, even if its not seeing them everyday. I do miss having someone to go home to though, the family routine of college... Getting up, breakfast, bus with lew, free lesson media free free, home, tea, usually round to Ruth's etc etc. It's almost a niave existance that you give yourself, it's just so nice to know whats happening, who's around, and stuff like that. Saying that, I'd advise living for yourself, even for a while, as the healthiest thing to do with yourself, just to find out things you don't know about yourself.
I've realised that I'm getting to old to be as shy as I am. I think it's become my downfall that people could consider me as ONLY daft, always put up a front of just being an idiot because I worry about what people think of what I think and do. Such a sack it haha.
I think I'm going to stay up, not out of my own choice, just cannot sleep, listen to The National - quite sad that I've got into a band due to it being an influence of Orlando Weeks during the writing of Wall Of Arms, but it's actually crazily good! I really want to sort out some recording equipment of my own, get to grips with some sort of drum machine software and make some trippy, ambient stuff, even with a few vocals, as out of tune they may be; it's all about emotion if you can get it right!
I'm still under the false impression that I'm never too old to get on the road with a band, I am determined to tour over my time at uni; I've realised that there's so many opportunity's in front of you if you want them, that are only there while your young enough to drive for it. I'm sure experiencing things that you know you can only do while your young shape how you are when your older. In my case, late nights and alcohol will hold me in good stead for an early death.
If anyone comes across this, which is very unlikely, leave a comment just to say its been read, out of interest.
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